Partial
by sleepserum
Summary: She was half my soul, and I was half her soul. Will you love me even when this existence harbours what is not hers? [ONESHOT. TW: Major Character Death, Smut]


_**PARTIAL**_

Written on: 12/21/18

Posted on: 12/25/18

A/N: A very disorganized oneshot. This is the first time I wrote smut that isn't _fade to black_ , please critique politely. I intended to include this in PUSH x PULL but I decided to post this separately since it grew too long to be a _quick idea_.

 **TRIGGER WARNING: Major Character Death, Smut by the end of the story under 17 do not read.**

* * *

 **She was half my soul, and I was half her soul. Will you love me even when this existence harbours what is not hers?**

* * *

Quivering arms weakly clung onto him, her fingers numb as she lay there—breathless. His arms encircled her lithe frame—he was warm, so very warm—or perhaps it was because her body was growing colder that it seemed like his body was radiating fire? They lay by the flickering fire, safely protected by the cave's mouth. The wolf demon held her close to the fire—hoping that the heat will leech onto her and seep into her frail, human body. He found himself subtly trembling; he had not noticed it until the woman in his arms raised a hand to cup his cheek—a gentle, reassuring smile gracing her pale lips.

"Kouga...," her voice rasped out, her chocolate hues that once emitted of warmth and vibrancy were only pain-filled and almost soulless. "It's alright, I'm alright...," She murmured as she snuggled closer to him, letting herself relax and bask in his bodily warmth—at this point, the fire felt cold. It had made her heart so very cold, but his warmth? It had set her soul ablaze.

Kouga hoped to speak, but no words would come out of his lips—not out of insouciance, if it were any of the reasons like that, it would be the last thing! He was not knowledgeable of such humanly matters, so to speak. She was human—and though he tried to learn of all aspects of what is human, he still found it difficult to decipher every bit of their flaws and strings. There she was, the woman he so dearly desired and loved, weakly resting in his arms—and despite the evident pain had told him that she was all right. He did not understand; he was a _youkai_ , what say you? When a mere, mortal human, would say such nonsensical reassurance? He did not understand her tears—he did not understand her smiles—but he understood so well her suffering. He sucked in a deep breath, brows furrowing, his fang dipping into the soft flesh of his bottom lip, blood seems to have seeped out.

He used a free hand to reach through her sweat soaked bangs, pushing it away from her face and tucking it behind her ear. Her complexion was pale and had glistened under the faint light of the fire as it was reflected by the droplets of sweat that began to accumulate on her forehead, by her neck—everywhere. Her chest was rising and lowering at a pacing speed, her breathing uneven as she was struggling for air. Her eyes shut close, her eyelids were faintly trembling; her hands clasped in a prayer so stressfully—he could see that her knuckles had turned white—her veins slightly protruding.

He could not believe just what a human girl could have done to him. He was stirred and put upside down—the first time she had cried, he was shit useless—for the first time, that day, he found himself so insignificant. He did not care (okay, he _did_ at the very least) when that dog hanyou had defeated the leader of the Birds of Paradise in one swing, yes, his pride was absolutely scorned on the day—he stared at what had unfolded before him in disbelief and awe—but that did not matter when it was regarding the heart and the woman he loves. He did not understand tears for there was no need for tears to shed for a demon; feelings—emotions—were insignificant, and if _there were_ the slightest hint of emotion in them, it would be bloodlust and hunger; none of these feeble sensitive emotions.

He looked at her with a crestfallen expression, he had removed all the thick garments she wore and yet she still perspired profusely. There was no way in the world he would try to remove the remaining thin garments she wore, he would feel as if he was violating her. He would only do so under her consent. He balled his fist, his sharp nails digging into his palm; he was frustrated there was nothing he could do.

Kagome had sensed is aura, his boiling aura, and so despite feeling malnourished she let her quivering hand reach out to the other's clenched ones. She let her fingers dig through the center and once Kouga's hand relaxed and opened she intertwined her lithe digits with his callous, thick fingers. She gave him a meek smile, bringing his hand close to her chest, letting him feel her drumming heart. "It's all right, Kouga. I'm all right..., _please_ —" her voice trailed off as she took a few deep breaths, "Let's just go to rest, I feel very tired...," Her words were barely audible at this point but Kouga had no difficulty picking up her words, they were clearly audible in his ears.

The wolf demon nodded, he looked back, inwardly cursing that they had no cushion for the woman to lie on.

"It's fine; can I rest on you instead?" She said, understanding his emanating worry.

Kouga blinks twice in surprise but softens his gaze and nods. He slowly scooted towards the corner wall, laying his back there as he let go of Kagome, letting her fix herself to a position she found herself comfortable in. He eyed her curiously, seeing her slow movements as she tried to curl herself to his side.

"Are you fine sleeping while sitting up?" He asks, worry evident.

She nods and hums softly, her head leaning to his chest as the wolf demon wraps a hand around her.

The first ten minutes was only silence, Kouga refused to sleep until Kagome had fallen to slumber first, and he knew she was still awake—the way she breathed was not relaxed and she still shivered, feeling cold all over. And so he breaks the silence, "Kagome, I—"

She hums softly, her brows furrowed at her apparent pain as she forces a smile.

"I love you," he says as he brings his lips close to her forehead and places a chaste kiss on top of her head.

Her expression softens, her eyes still shut close, "I love you too," was her reply as her lithe hands clutched onto him. "And... I am so sorry, I—" Her words fall mute, her throat feeling tight.

It happened not too long ago, after their defeat of Naraku, the Sacred Jewel had been completed then turned all the damages back to its original state. Including deaths caused by the Jewel. Thus, the long lost love of Inuyasha, Kikyou, had been brought back to life. Kagome did not protest, after all, before the final battle she had proclaimed already that she will no longer be bound by the heart wrenching, twisting first love she carried towards the hanyou. While she had loved him whole, loving both halves of his existence, he had yet to love her whole. So to speak, he was not ready to love her and she understood. And so she let him be, for him to heal first. As she finally saw her world brighten, her horizon widened—and he saw _him_. The wolf demon who so continuously courted her and proclaimed his love—but it was not just that, he had shown, countless of times that is, his genuine worry for her—the way he paid attention to every detail of her health, memorized her skin, her complexion, her breathing—she wondered why she had never noticed such pure love before? It was brimming, as if it outshone the sun.

Not before long, she lets herself slowly engulfed by his love, responding little by little to his advances until they began to have one of the indescribably best teamwork in battle. Their trust in each other as well as full reliance on each other's capabilities had made their options wider as well as knowing their partner's movements and plans well—they were also aware of their own limitations, though Kouga was a prideful demon, he knew when to back off when things will not be in his favour and so he trusted Kagome.

It was as if they only had one body and one soul that were diffused for a moment. They were synchronized, the way they looked into each other's eyes and smiled. Soon enough, they had admitted their feelings, the final courtship—and she did not hesitate, she did not doubt, to give him an answer that—yes, yes she will stay by his side and love him for eternity—this was the new life that she had lead her soul to. She will not let her soul be tangled in an old love that was never resolved. Her previous life's lingering feelings were not of hers, she was her own woman—and she knew where love must be.

But once the final battle had ended—she, no, everyone did not expect the aftermath—all damages were given back their right to live again.

It would have been just fine, right? It was as if the Jewel never even existed. _Right?_

 **False.**

It meant that the once dead priestess was brought back to life.

* * *

 **Five years ago.**

It would have been all right, had it not been the fact her soul had already been in another person's body. She had already been reincarnated, thus, when given another chance in life—her soul was incomplete.

Kagome did not mind, she had lived the excruciating months of finding the Jewel fragments with half a soul, she would have thought that it would still be the same—but it was not.

Kikyou was a far stronger priestess than she could ever be—thus with her spiritual powers overpowering her own, Kagome had no choice but submit weakly. Day by day, a part of her soul would be taken away. She and Kikyou had discussed of this issue once before, right after she had begun to feel the adverse effects of soul sharing. Kikyou apologized sincerely, not knowing how to reverse the effect; she had made it clear that she refused to give her life up, now that she was able to live the way she yearned and that she would finally be reunited with her first love. Kagome did not object; she had only wished to seek for an answer that would not put her life on the line.

Truth be told, she would not have suffered this way had she made a decision back then before the Sacred Jewel's existence disappeared.

 _Will you return to your own world or will you remain?_

There was no right or wrong answer, but the young girl knew that she must return to her world where her family resided—but in the end, her soul, her heart and body had decided against her logic. She glanced back and saw Kouga, along with Ginta and Hakkaku who stood idly and eyes wide—Kouga's tail was down, almost between his legs—he feared for what may come. Though they did not show their hurt, Kagome could see his solemn aura; she only gave him a loving smile—as if reassuring him. Kouga's eyes widened—his heart skipped a beat, _was she...?_

She looked back at the translucent spirit of the Jewel, _"I will remain, however please heed my wish to say my final goodbye's to my family."_ This was uttered only to herself and the spirit—no one else heard and not before long her body was engulfed in a bright pink light that had taken her whole existence.

Without even saying much of a farewell, everyone stood there, their mouths hung open in surprise when the young woman had disappeared right before their eyes. Their bodies engulfed in an odd static feeling as if there were cold spiders running on their backs. No one could have even stopped her, not knowing what her response was. They could only assume that Kagome had finally chosen to return to her world.

Before anyone could even utter a word, the wolf demon sped up and grabbed a handful of the dog hanyou's red garment; anger filled cobalt blue hues looked over at puzzled golden ones. He emitted a growl as he let his free hand deliver a punch—Inuyasha did not even fight back. _"You useless mutt-face! Where the hell is Kagome?!"_ He did not even give so much of an effort to let him stand up as he wrapped his hands around the hanyou's neck—claws sinking into the other's flesh as blood trickled down—not caring if his throat would be crushed right here and now. Kouga knew where Kagome was, she had told him of her origins—and she also told him that only she and Inuyasha was able to cross over time. _"Bring her back—!"_ He said in evident anguish, his voice breaking in both sorrow and anger.

 **...**

So to speak, the wolf demon was in an awry mess. Ginta and Hakkaku had held both of his arms and pulled him back—their tears welling up from the loneliness as their pack sister had been swooped away by an unknown force. They understood their Alpha's sorrow, they really do, but they did not understand the depths of it. While true, they held such incomprehensible loneliness, unlike their Alpha, they still held the sanity not to attack another.

Kouga had forcefully pushed his two friends away sending him a burst of aura that would be regarded as an Alpha's orders, it was one that humans cannot simply feel as it was happening within the bond pack members only felt—however in that scene, everyone else knew of the intense aura that the demon held. Many times have Ginta and Hakkaku stopped Kouga from impulsively acting, especially concerning Kagome, but this was the first time that he had actually ordered them not to interfere. Perhaps they were a tad bit dejected, hurt even, but they knew it was all within reason and emotion. Their sister was truly gone, out of their sight and grasp, this was—this was the aftermath of a wolf losing his mate, the other part of him that bore his soul and heart.

" _Tell me!"_ The pitch of his voice rose, not surprised if droplets of his saliva have spat out towards the other who lay motionless in his grasp.

Inuyasha's body stiffened, his gaze averting—looking away, _"I—"_

" _Look at me!"_ His claws dug deeper.

The other people who remained and witnessed the scene unfold before their very own eyes had the urge to interfere, to pull the wolf demon away and to help the hanyou, but even as the priestess watched her lover in such a pitiful state, she could not place herself in this heart twisting revelation.

Inuyasha looked at him, his gaze hardening, he too had felt sorrow—for months and months, he had stayed by that human girl's side, protected her and for the first time since his mother's death, shed tears for her as well as others. She was the first woman to have seen his human form and demon form, she was the first human, after his mother, who had told him that his existence as a _half_ was not all that bad, that she had seen him for who he is and that there was nothing at all wrong for being half of another. She had loved every bit of his tragedy worn sorrow, his war torn heart and hate filled soul. She had loved and patiently stood by his side, fighting and healing him unconsciously every step of the way. Granted, he took her for naught, stepped on every speck of kindness she offered until he saw it slipping away. Granted, he had broken her heart more times he could have imagined. Granted, he had made her wait for nothing. Granted, he knew the girl loved him—he.

Suddenly a wave of realization hit him, eyes widened and his golden hues that were once clouded in confusion and doubt were cleared of such and brimmed of none other than the painful truth.

She loved him so dearly and unconditionally.

He was too caught up with the Jewel, to restore it and to protect her, and send his lost love to the peace she deserve that he had let her fair maiden heart shatter.

He loved her too, he knew, but he never knew the depths of it.

He glanced at his long lost love, his heart warmed. She was not Kagome, and Kagome was not Kikyou.

 _Inuyasha..._

Her voice began to echo at the back of his mind.

 _Inuyasha...!_

And he knew, on that moment that she had disappeared, away from anyone could reach. In a time none could live long enough to witness.

Inuyasha felt heat pool in his cheeks, his throat tightening not of external forces but the way his heart crept up to his throat as if aching to be spewed out. He did not dare to shed tears; he would do so in private, but not here. His brows furrowed, his hand gripping the unwavering grip the demon had around his neck. _"She's gone."_ He rasped out, blood trickling from the corner of his lip as he furrowed his eyebrows. _"She's somewhere we can't reach or ever live long enough to witness."_ He continues, _"She's gone back to where she belongs."_

" _You don't get any say—she belongs to where she wants to be, you don't get to say where she belongs!"_ And he knew she wanted to be by his side. He knew that, the way her aura timidly reaches out to it in such pure desire to be intertwined with his. She was pure, untouched, a little broken however strong, she wanted _him_.

 _Kouga..._

He remembers her warm gaze, the way her chestnut hues shone in such free glory. He knew by then that she had let her heart tread the paths she so anxiously ran away from. The way her words no longer stuttered when she uttered his name, it smoothly rolled out her tongue, they way her lips mouthed his name, the way it seemed as if his name was the only thing she had ever spoken—he knew, by then, she was reaching out to him.

 _Kouga...!_

She was an untamed flame and he would welcome the pain that came along with it—he did mind getting burned by her love, by her humanly notions.

" _She's safe, that's all that matters, this place is no good for her—she doesn't belong here!"_ Inuyasha bit back. It was a cruel truth, but it was her entanglement here that had caused so much loss and misery. It was a miracle the jewel had restored such tragedies. Nonetheless, while he admitted that the modern priestess was able to stand up for herself, he knew this world will only bring harm to her. _"Ain't 'ya gonna give her some peace?!"_ He spat as he felt the grip around his neck lighten and so he uses this moment of distraction to free himself from the wolf's grasp. He took a defensive stance, a hand clutching onto the hilt of his sword, Tessaiga as a low growl vibrated from his sore, bleeding throat.

Kouga stood from his position, his position stood idly then Ginta and Hakkaku walked up to him, there was slight fear but they knew their Alpha—no, their _friend_ —needed their company. _"Kouga...,"_

 _No, the way his name sounded was not of hers!_ He growled in evident irritation as he only sent a narrowed, heated gaze at the other. _"Whatever you say won't convince me to give up. I've waited long enough to earn her love, and now I will wait for as long as time may allow for her to return—or for I to find her once again_." He turned his heels, _"Until then. Hakkaku, Ginta, let's go back, there's nothing for us here anymore."_ He ordered as he was engulfed in his whirlwind then speeding off back to his tribe's den.

" _A—Ah! Kouga...! Wait up!"_ As the two demon wolves scrambled on their feet, they looked back at the group who remained and bowed apologetically (one they never really did especially to the humans, however ever since warming up to Kagome they learned of this custom and grew into it), _"It's a wolf thing, losing your mate, that is_." Hakkaku said with a solemn gaze, _"I'm sure you understand, don't 'cha, Inuyasha?"_ Ginta finished as he glanced at the patch of grass where Kagome stood before she disappeared. _"Don't worry we'll make sure he won't destroy any of you!"_ The two said with half-hearted grins as they waved and left as soon as possible to catch up to their Alpha's speed.

 **...**

Once they have returned to the den, the wolves had partied—throwing their hunts to the center and howling victorious as finally the war of the Sacred Jewel had come to an end. The night was young and the moon was full, their hearts soared and their bellies rumbled. They had partied not only for victory but in order to raise their fallen brethren's spirits up high.

Soon enough, the wolves had picked up the scent of their Alpha, a few remained at the party and the others approached Kouga—their bodies stiffened and their joyous expression fell as they felt the poisonous aura he emitted. He was unapproachable. Without any say they stood a good distance from the wolf prince and bowed politely. Kouga only shot them an indifferent glance as he turned his head to proceed to his personal caves, _"Go enjoy yourselves,"_ he said, devoid of the haughty and brimming attitude he often had, _"Ginta and Hakkaku will be arriving soon, tell them whatever concern you may have if my presence is required have them,"_ referring to the two wolves he mentioned earlier, _"To relay the message to me and I'll make myself present, if not I will make myself scarce."_

The wolves only meekly nodded as they scurried back to the bonfire remaining quiet of their Alpha's cold attitude—even when he was a leader long before, he was never so callous to his kin. Superior, yes he was. However, cold and dismissive? No.

Once Kouga was out of sight, a few minutes later the other two demon wolves had arrived, panting and as if ready to spew their lunch out, they crouched as hand rested on their knees.

The demon wolves that scurried a little while ago approached the panting wolves that had just arrived _, "Hey, what's up with Kouga? He's pretty tense and cold... it's like he was goin' to rip my throat out or kick me out of the pack if I ever even say one word."_ He said with a tremble of his shoulders—a cold chill run up his spine as well as the other wolf who accompanied him nodding in agreement.

Ginta and Hakkaku exchanged glances, _"Sis is... well, kind of away 'away'. So Kouga's not in a good mood."_

The other wolves exchanged glances, _"She... died?"_

Ginta and Hakkaku shook their head vigorously, _"No, no! More like... she just took some break away, some human things...,"_ they did not exactly know how to explain the situation without spilling the whole _'Kagome is from the future'_ ordeal, this was the most they could do to alleviate the curiosities and worries of the pack members. _"But anyways, it's best we leave Kouga with some space until he gets back on his feet, Sis will return, just... probably not so soon...,"_ To be completely honest, they were not so sure if Kagome would even return. They have heard that it was because of the presence and the power of the Sacred Jewel that Kagome was able to return and if it were to disappear then...?

The demon wolves nodded feeling satisfied with the answer and let the topic drop, much to their pleasure, _"Anyways, go an' drink up—there's a lot of hunt for t'night! For victory!"_ The demon wolves cheered then Ginta and Hakkaku followed.

Despite howling and cheering under the moonlight, anxiety welled at the depths of their heart and the back of their minds.

 **...**

It took three years.

Three years, she had only wanted to say her farewells to her family, but she was far too naive that she thought her family would simply let her go. She was to return to the Feudal Era once and for all under one condition—if she finished her education. Kagome cursed inwardly, she had three years before she graduated. And so she did—she studied well and hard. She had hoped, every night she had hoped that her little smile to Kouga would have given him the message she intended to deliver.

It took three years of anxiety, three years of sorrow; three years of impatience.

Until the time she felt the diploma on her hand.

With her mother's warm, woeful smile, she held her yellow backpack. Her mother reached out to her and gave her final hug to her first born and only daughter. Kagome's grandfather as well as her younger brother, who was now almost her height and in middle school, joined in the hug—holding her tight. After all, this will be the last time they will ever see of _Kagome Higurashi_. They shed tears. Though Kagome was a good eighteen years of age, they only had her for fourteen years. One whole year was given to the Feudal Era, and the other three years was her whole existence preoccupied in the Feudal Era.

Once they had let go, Kagome could only shed tears—it was a parting she can never reverse. And so she turned her back and ran to the Sacred Well.

" _Please return me to the Feudal Era; please let me reunite with him."_ She prayed to the well and not before long the well had engulfed her into a bright light. She smiled as she glanced back to see her family who stood by the door of the dim shed, her mother holding onto Souta, her eyes red from crying—she had been crying for the past nights—but she dared not to frown while seeing her daughter leave.

Kagome gave them a reassuring smile and waved—soon enough her existence had been completely erased from the modern world as she had finally travelled back to the time she so longed to be in.

It was all right, the first year it was nothing—she was blissfully and completely in love and loved by the only man she continued to desire and support.

 **...**

Until the first winter solstice after a year came, and the first full moon rose.

Kagome began to weaken due to reasons unknown. Kouga as well as Kagome had thought it might be the season bothering her. But it continued, it gradually made her body weaker—Kouga made sure to double her meals as well as train her an extra hour of exercise every morning. But she did not get any better. She was then brought to Kaede's village.

Kouga had to fight the stench of _dogs_ —there were more than one. He supposes that that hanyou had finally created a family with that priestess he so loved—there were at least two little hanyou's that were running around.

As Kagome was laid on the ground in Kaede's hut, he was told to stay outside—saying this was a matter between priestesses. Kikyou arrived not long after and was surprised to find Kagome is such a pained state. Kaede and Kikyou immediately went to her aid and tried to reach out to her, however an odd barrier surrounded her—Kikyou tried to purify it, but once the slightest purification was given, a part of her soul ached. It did not take long for her to understand what it meant.

" _Kagome, wake."_ Her expression was stern though her words tried to remain as gentle. This was a serious issue.

Kagome weakly opened her eyes, her breathing staggered. _"Kikyou... Kaede...?"_

Kaede looked over at her with a solemn expression. _"Kagome...,"_

" _There is a pressing matter we must discuss."_ Kikyou could not help but feel the twist in her heart.

And so that was when she learned that her distress, her weakening state, was because of her soul slowly being pulled back to the first host. Kikyou unintentionally called her soul back—it was not of her own accord, after all, the soul will return to its first body, it was a general knowledge. Kagome held onto her garments tight, what is she to do then? Flashes of images of Kouga crossed her mind—all his love, as well as the warmth of the whole tribe that had accepted her—images of the _future_ crossed her mind, vague images of children on her arms—she wanted to... she wanted to make a family with him!

" _I am deeply sorry, Kagome. But I have no knowledge to reverse this other than my death."_ Kikyou said with a slight bitterness in her tone. _"I refuse to lay my life, I have found the peace I so sought for as a child, please—"_ Her eyes showed a sense of sorrow as she bowed her head, _"Please, I beg of you, do not—"_

Kagome only smiled weakly, and though her hand was quivering, she only held the other priestess's shoulder, _"Raise your head, it's all right. I don't mind...,"_ she said gently to reassure to fear stricken priestess. She had died once, and she will no longer let that happen not until her natural death comes for her. _"I don't... I don't expect you to offer your life for me, it's alright... thank you... thank you for telling me this—I will live as much as I could."_ Kagome smiled, masking the growing pain in her heart. _"I'm glad—I'm thankful, to have finally met you and talked to you like this, Kikyou, I truly wish for your growing happiness."_ She reached out to the other priestess and embraced her.

It was only then when Kikyou had realized how cold Kagome was—it made her soul quiver and her heartstrings tear apart, but she will not die. _"I apologize, Kagome—I will find a way, any other way, to save you."_ Kikyou promised, a smile gracing her lips.

Kagome thanked her, however shook her head, _"It's fine—I'll let it naturally come, there is no need for you to worry, please enjoy your life, Kikyou."_ It hurt Kagome, no not because she let Kikyou not to find a cure, but because the contact was making her soul ache. The more she stayed, the more bits and parts of her soul were seeping out of her body.

Kagome staggered to stand and so Kikyou and Kaede helped her up, she embarrassedly apologized and thanked them as she was escorted out of the hut. Kouga rushed to her side and held her in his arms. He glanced to the priestesses who only shook their heads and cast their gazes down. It took all his willpower not to bite their heads off, but they could feel his blood lust and anger—he did not mind, he wanted to make his anger and distress known to them. Kagome tugged on his armor and gave her a reassuring smile as she held him close, _"It's all right... let's go home."_

They were to finally leave when a ball hit her foot gently. She looked down—it seemed to be a _temari ball_. She was to pick it up when a familiar looking child walked up to the ball and reach for it. She looked at the child, he had silver tresses—the same golden hues however rather than bear any sort of malice and roughness, it was only a gentle gaze. She immediately knew of the boy's father and mother and smiled. _"You have such a lovely ball, perhaps next time we could play? And with more people to play with too!"_ She implied which caught Kouga's attention but he did not speak yet.

The child's ears perked up and a grin crossed his expression, his tiny fang evident as he nodded, he did not know the woman but a part of him felt soothed by her presence.

Kouga then hoisted the woman in his arms and sped away in his whirlwind.

The travel back home was quiet, Kagome had fallen asleep in his arms by then and as she did Kouga kept on glancing at Kagome's relaxed expression, a smile on her face—she looked like an angel and it had only made his heart twist further.

 **...**

They had returned to the den, the other wolves were minding their own business—a few were gone to hunting or on patrol, nonetheless Kouga couldn't care anymore of what they did. He went to the deeper part of the cave where he and Kagome stayed, at first they had stayed where it was more public, but on Kagome's request they transferred to a more private part of the cave. She was human, so she had requested a little more privacy. Kouga, of course, respected that.

As he settled her down onto their bedding, she laid by her side. She awoke not soon after.

" _Hey."_

Kagome smiled and snaked her arms around him, _"Hello,"_

Kouga only smiled as he nuzzled his nose to her. Despite the gentle caresses he could not hide the subtle anxiety—the nagging thought of losing her, but there was another that bothered him—the words she had told the young hanyou.

" _Kouga, you know you can't hide your anxiety...,"_ Kagome smiled as she looked up at him, _"Please tell me?"_

Kouga blinks as she let out a defeated sigh, his hands running through her midnight tresses, _"I'm sorry, I meant to tell this to you when you feel a little better—_ " he paused as he saw her nod, signalling him to continue, _"I... I was just thinking what you said to that kid earlier—I mean, I know—I might just be... you know, over thinking but—"_ at this point he was tripping over his words, a slight blush pooling in his cheeks as his gaze averted from hers.

The priestess found this adorable as she giggled, her soft hands cupping his cheeks and pulling his face gently to her. She placed a chaste kiss on his lips, silencing him, _"Yes—yes, I want to make a family with you,"_ She understood what he meant and she had intended to send that implied message earlier. Selfish as it may be, but she wanted to know what he felt about this.

She looked at him, her gaze as nonjudgmental and patient as ever.

Kouga could only feel his tears form but he did not let it so. He held her tight and released a few heavy breaths. _"Kagome... I've always wanted to have you carry my pups—but I had to wait, I didn't want to scare you—I mean—"_

Kagome could only smile through his grasp as she chuckled, _"It's all right—"_

 _It was that word again, at this point if Kouga had the power to remove a word from all existence it would be 'all right'_.

" _I guess, you were right, I was scared—I was just eighteen, there were barely any girls of my age in my time that got pregnant at that age, I'm now twenty years... so...,"_ she placed light kisses on his cheeks, _"I want to carry your pups, if only you would let me—"_ She said.

Kouga's eyes brightened, any ounce of fear or doubt washed away as he nuzzled her close, his lips kissing ever inch of her face. _"I love you, Kagome—I would love to make a family with you—"_

It was on that night when his heart swelled in grief and fear more than love.

The thought of losing her now was more infuriating and more sorrow inducing than before.

* * *

"I—I know, I know I said not to worry," Kagome's weak, soft voice broke the quiet silence. "But Kouga, I am... I am so, so sorry. I am so sorry." Her smile breaks as her eyebrows furrowed and her forehead creased as tears began to form from the corners of her eyes. "I am so sorry, I can't—"

Kouga looked at her and held her close, rubbing circles on her back as she continued to shed her tears, he leaned his face close letting his tongue slide over her cheeks and licking up the salty liquid that trickled down her cheeks. He emitted a hot breathe to her ear, nuzzling his nose on her hair. It pained him to see how a strong woman like her could be defeated by a simple human notion of which cannot be prevented. "Kagome..., please don't worry— _we'll find a way_ —and I still intend to take you as my mate no matter what, and fulfill our dream to make a family—I won't—"

Her hand rose to cup his mouth, shushing him with her quivering hand. "Wolves mate for life, that is what you said," She smiled and slightly chuckled at the memory of the wolf demon haughtily claiming her as his woman on the first days they've met, "What if I live for only a year or less? If you take me, you'll live the rest of your life alone—I'm not that selfish, I won't let you suffer—" It hurt, Kagome yearned for him just as how he yearned for her—but it was selfish to be happy.

He shakes his head slightly, disagreeing with her message, "I'll find a way— _we'll_ find a way, okay?" Kouga reassured her as he breathed a warm sigh on her ear and placed a kiss on the side of her neck then to her shoulders. She shivered under his touch; the little acts of love had made her heart tremble.

"She has half of my soul, and I have half of her soul." Kagome began, her gaze travelling from the fir fire to her lover's hands, "In fact, I think I have less of a soul at this point," she quipped. Despite trying to sound as if she were to brighten the atmosphere, Kouga noticed her heightened anxiety. He could smell it— _her fear, her worry_ —they were mixing with her growing arousal. "Will you love me then... even still... when the soul I have is not mine...?"

He only nuzzles her neck, smiling against her skin as he lets his tongue slide over her skin, licking up the sweat that had accumulated, "Yours or not, your soul is not your personality—your soul is not your heart, your mind." He replied and paused as he lets a growl emit from his lips, his nails grazing over her soft skin. "I love you Kagome, in every way and every aspect— _Kagome_."

"Kouga... I'm so sorry—"

"Stop apologizing," his gentle nature slowly slipped off, growing faintly annoyed at Kagome's unfolding weakness, his embrace tightening—he did not want to hear any more of her apologies.

The first few months before the final battle, they were like fire intertwined, she was his oxygen that had breathed into the fire to flame higher and brighter. The years later his fire had dimmed. But after which she had returned, and he began to breathe again—their fire grew that it warmed not only them but their pack. They were a world of their own but it was not enclosed, everyone else belonged in their little world too. But then a year passed, and it was as if he was a fire under the drizzling rain—she began to dissipate right before his eyes.

"You're you, Kagome. Reincarnation or not—you exist, you're you. You're _Kagome_...," He did not know how to comfort her exactly. Wolves never had an issue for their identity, nor did they have an issue with their mates.

But this was an obstacle, an experience that Kouga welcomed with open arms he will learn of the ways and nature of his significant other. He will understand everything about her.

She emitted a shaky breath, "I wish... I wish I can go back,"

His breath hitched— _go back to what?—_ he worried, what did she mean?

His anxiety rose and she felt it, she let her hands squeeze his, intertwining her fingers with his, "To ' _who I used to be'_ , temperamental, loud— _I feel so weak_ ," She bit her lip in evident frustration; she hated feeling useless—more so when she was in this state. "I want to support you, fight by your side like before." She paused, her hold on his hand tightening, "I didn't return to be pampered by you, I stayed to protect and fight with you, _to grow with you_."

His anxiety calmed very subtly; he noticed how discouraged she had been the past days, weeks, months especially with her situation growing worse, she had to sit by idly as Kouga did the things they used to do together—hunting, that is—they used to hunt together and come home to the den with lots of gather, yet she had to stay behind ever since her soul had diminished. She hated it, she could not even fight him like she used to or else she would faint. His lover was a fighter, a warrior—a spirited woman. She was not a damsel in distress, but this situation was not making it any easier for the both of them.

"You'll be back up and fighting soon, I promise you—" And Kouga was never one to back down on his promise, he will be able to accomplish them, he always finds a way. He smirked, "Soon enough you might be able to have that much energy to kick my dear wolves for rummaging your bag—" he joked.

Kagome could only lightly slap his shoulder as her cheeks tinted pink, well what could have been done! She had a few... things, inside there that she wanted to keep closed!

She never understood how dates work in this time, but she knew, by instinct—that today was most likely to be Christmas. _Happy Holidays, Mama, Souta, Jii-chan_. She let out a soft breath; she looked at him with a sultry gaze that caught him slightly surprised. She made her arousal known, climbing onto his lap as she let her hands rest on his shoulders, her gaze looking down onto his blue hues. "Will you... will you take me as your mate...?"

It was a winter evening, and they were cozily inside a cave, resting from a travel and had to seek refuge as there was a snowstorm approaching. The fire then dancing kindly at the center of the cave.

 **...**

The tip of Kouga's tail twitched on picking up the warm aura she was radiating; a slight blush tinted his cheeks and not soon after his expression turns seductive, a smirk drawing on his lips as he let his hands rest by her hips. Kouga reached out to her, calloused fingers pressing against the fabric that dared to not let him touch her pure flesh. He growled under his breath, his fangs baring.

Kagome hummed, her hands delicately finding her way to tangle itself within her lover's onyx tresses, giving it a slight pull as she let her lips rest on his shoulders, pressing gentle kisses at first and as she trailed her lips to his neck then to his jaw line, her kisses deepen, sucking patches of his skin—her free hand finds her way to rest on top of his chest—hands splayed on his armor.

"You don't have to force yourself—we can wait until we get back home," Kouga whispered.

Kagome hummed as she emitted a sigh, "I want this. _I want you_ , do you?" There was a hint of worry, innocence doused, and embarrassment which Kouga found alluring.

"Of course." Her lips were soft but what he hungered for was its taste, he elicited a slight hum as he trailed one hand from Kagome's waist to her face, he pressed a kiss on her mouth—she tasted like cool, fresh peaches and strawberries—there was an impulse, a momentary yet lingering one—that told his brain to bite down her soft plump lips hard enough to draw blood, wanting to savour her liquid life source, watching how it would contrast her pale complexion. Though he doesn't, he lets his fang slightly nip on her bottom lip—the tingling feeling had made the priestess gasp, as if on cue, when her lips parted, the wolf demon let his tongue slide into her mouth.

His tongue pressed against hers, curling and taking in the sweetness and hotness of her saliva but it was not a one sided effort—her attempts to do the same was evident though her furrowed burrows and whimpering moans. He swirled his tongue around hers, rolling them over each other as she tried to do the same—her tongue massaging against his.

Kagome pulls back, because of her weakening state; it was hard for her to breathe. Her chest was rising and lowering rapidly as she was desperate for oxygen, her cheeks flushed as she unconsciously leaned more to her lover, her heated core pressing on his thigh and ever so slightly rubbing against the clear skin of his muscled, toned leg, desiring for a slow friction against her aching core. Her fingers curled by the straps of the demon's armor, whimpering in hazy desire to feel his skin—she had been intimate with him before, but tonight was when she was desperate, clinging onto whatever string of sense she had.

Kouga understood her subtle actions and pulling has hands away from her as he stripped himself of all his armor, glancing at her hungry gaze every now and then—he could hear her mewling, her fingers clutching and curling into the pelts that covered his lower body. Once he had shaken off all his armor, he sets them on the ground and immediately he feels her soft skin ghost along his torso—exploring, touching every inch of his skin. She was timid—a bit hesitant to press her hands on him.

She was still wearing her white _haori_ , her priestess clothing—she had often worn pelts ever since deciding to stay by his side—however on certain days she wore her priestess outfits as alternative clothing especially since they reminded her of pyjamas during winter.

Unsatisfied that his mate was still clothed, he grunted as he pulled the sleeves of her garments down revealing more of her unblemished skin. He was glad she no longer wore those tiny contraptions that hid her breasts—the first year they had been together, she wore those weird _bra_ straps—he did not find any significance to it but she said it was customary in her to wear such things.

Kagome curled her back inward slightly, growing embarrassed at the radio silence he gave while staring at her uncovered breasts, "Mm...," this catches his attention and he places his hands on her shoulders, rubbing it with his thumbs then a light squeeze as he gives her a reassuring smile. He gives the two fleshy mounds a loving gaze, he had snuggled her body, naked, but had never dared go over the line until she was comfortable to progress their relationship further.

He lets his tongue slide over her lips, "You don't have to be shy," he whispered huskily before pressing his lips on hers, once again diving for a deepening kiss as he let his right hand travel down to her breast, cupping and kneading it gently—his thumb rolling over her soft, pink nipple.

She bit back a moan, her brows furrowing at the sensation—she parted her lips, sucking in oxygen and letting him explore her mouth, she moaned into him. His confidence to press his hands against her exposed skin had made her do the same. Though she still trembled, she laid her hands flat against his toned chest, tracing her index finger along his abs then to his bellybutton—circling her finger around it before finding the lining of his onyx coloured pubic hair. Her fingertips rub against his hairline, going lower until her wrist feels her lover's erection through his pelt.

Her eyes widened as she pulled back from the kiss they had—she gazed at his lust filled blue hues, looking intently at her flushed expression—a slight whimper elicited from her as she let out a shaky breath. Her lips pressed in a thin line, her eyes travelling to her lover's bulge.

Her breath hitched as she scooted backward slowly. Kouga eyed at her curiously. She tucked a handful of her hair behind her ear and emitted a quivering sigh as she removed her hold on him and let her hands slide to his arms. She lowered her body, her legs pulled together and folded as Kouga's were spread wide, as she had her hand hike up his loincloth, then pulled down the underwear made of pelt.

She warmly gazed at the cock that stood upright, slightly quivering and its veins protruding. She let her meek touches ghost over his swollen cock, tracing over the veins and pressing it lightly before she lets her reddened lips swirl her tongue around it, licking and tasting it. For a moment she lets her gaze avert to make eye contact with her lover, her hand finding its way to massage and play with his balls carefully. Kagome trails her tongue upwards until she hollowed her cheeks then slowly and sloppily took his cock into her mouth.

Kouga hissed at the multitude of sensation, his arousal was sparkling at her timid teasing at first however when she had taken in his cock his arousal flared; he grunted in evident pleasure at what his mate was giving him, vibrations coming off his throat. He had yet to pleasure her yet with her breasts however she had taken matters to her own hands. His hands find itself to grab a handful of her hair, careful not to pull it to tight as he let his long nails lightly scrape against her scalp.

She bobbed her head up and down in slow movements, the first few times it was tolerable, however by the later part she went down, her lover had bucked his hips closer to her throat—her eyes widened, feeling the tip almost touch the back of throat and so she pulls back slightly—not wanting to gag on her lover. As she was able to breathe again she glanced at her flushed lover, lips pursed in a triumphant grin as she let her tongue press by the shaft of his cock, her thumb pressing and massaging his balls.

Kouga was on the verge of spilling his seed in that tight, hot mouth of hers—her swollen lips and her clouded gaze had his erection throb. He hissed as he bucked his hips gently, aching to go deeper into her mouth—the way she moaned while he fucked her mouth had sent vibration tingling within him. "Fuck... _Kagome_ —that's good... _that's really good_ , keep on going...," He said huskily as he shut his eyes close momentarily.

She whimpered as she gazed at him with half-lidded eyes, the way his words sounded like an erotic lullaby had made her rub her thighs together and mewl helplessly. Swollen lips sucked over the tip, flicking her tongue over the sensitive head. Her tongue swirled around it and not before long her lover's grip on her hair tightened—stopping her head from jerking back as he felt his breath labour. "Fuck, I'm coming...," Kouga whispered as he gazed at his mate who sat obediently while her mouth was enclosed around his throbbing erection. His cum spills and his grip on her hair loosens, she pulls back immediately, her mouth slammed shut as her hand raised to capture the spilling semen from the corners of her mouth.

The wolf demon widened his eyes as he saw his mate look troubled, "Kagome, spit it out—" but before he could have made her spit it, she had swallowed it whole—spooning the dripping semen from her hands and licking them clean. _Hot_. Kouga's face flushed at the erotic sight of his mate swallowing his cum as she whimpered.

"Kouga...," her wanton moan had made him growl lowly, her arms reached out to him and he held her and pulled her close, his claws tracing along her spine sending shivers to her body.

It took almost every sense he had to keep his _beast_ intact and buried at the back of his mind—the way his mate yearned for him, pleased him, completely submitted to him had made him growl in hunger. But he was no untamed demon, he had to control himself if he wanted to keep Kagome by his side as well as enjoy the night with no fear. _Kagome, you don't know a fucking thing how you affect me._ She may know, but never the depths of it.

Caught in hazy desire, Kouga deepened the kiss, letting his tongue slide in once again—Kagome mewled when her lover placed a hand on her bare back, pushing her closer to him. He felt his cock grow erect slowly; this had made his blood boil.

Normally Kouga would feel his carnal desire take over, take matters to his own hands and drive his mate crazy—he was a full blooded demon, he could last all night long doing nothing but make love to his mate—but he had to take into consideration that his mate was not only human but was weakening. It didn't leave his lust hazed mind, that she ought to die in someday too close to today.

His hands shifted, one on her back travelled down to her rear, supporting her lower back. He pushes her closer to his length, pressing it against her heated core, while his other hand travelled to her breast—his calloused fingers rasping over her pert nipple.

Kagome pulled back, gasping at how his fingernails raked over her breast—Kouga nuzzled her neck then brushes his lips against her ears, a baritone groan emitted from him making Kagome shudder, the way he responded, the slightest growls had made heat pool more between her thighs—his sultry, sonorous voice was intoxicating to her.

His lips trail down sucking on her skin as he finds his way onto her nipple, taking her breast into his mouth and rolling his tongue around and over while his free hand massaged the other breast, kneading and pressing the soft mound of flesh. Kagome turned light headed, drunken intoxicated, at the feeling. After each passing second she grew breathless as she let her head rest by his shoulder, pulling him close, her hips rolling to his slick length and her legs shivering at the pressure.

One of her hands that laid on his shoulders clenched, her fingers curling as she breathed hotly onto his neck—her heart drumming against her chest—her lungs tightening at the strenuous activity they were performing. Kouga stopped his ministrations, pulling back and looking at her worriedly, it pained him to see her exerting such effort when they should simply feel pleasure. She flashed him a bright smile and gave a few moments to breathe, "I'm all right, don't stop... please?" Her breasts pressed up against his chest, rubbing her arousal on him and he could only submissively nod at her timid requests. It subtly hurt, his sorrow mixed with his arousal—the way the heated night tingled on his skin, the way her heart tenderly cried onto him.

"Kagome..., sorry but could you move a little?" Kouga whispered and Kagome nodded, pushing herself off, feeling cold at the lack of physical contact.

Kouga reached for her, a hand wrapped at her upper back while a free hand took their discarded undergarments—except his armor—then placed it under his mate, "We don't have cushions and the pallet like at the den, hopefully this could alleviate the pain." He gave her a gentle smile.

Heat pooled at her cheeks, making her twice redder than a while ago and only gingerly nodded. She let herself adjust at the position, her back slightly arched however her shoulders and rear feeling comfortable at the pile of soft pelts and clothes she lay on. "It feels just like at home, now come... hold me." A sly grin drew on her lips as her hands weakly raised to wrap around her lover's neck as she pulled him close, nuzzling her cheek against his.

The wolf demon playfully nipped her nose, placing butterfly kisses all over her face, licking away the beads of sweat adorning her pale skin.

"This'll hurt," he tenderly warned.

Kagome only nodded as she let her legs widen, "I know, but you'll be kind to be, right?" She only smiled at him as she heard an agreeing hum from the other. She trusted Kouga—although she felt a tad bit guilty she could not let him go wild, she knew that the wolf demon can get quite aggressive and adventurous, no doubt that sensual sexual intercourse was not his favourite. "Sorry I can't let your beast wild..," she could not help but blurt it out.

His tail raised in alert as it wagged ever so slightly, he could not help but adore his mate's selfless innocence—though he would prefer a rougher activity with his mate, he had nothing against what they did now. "I don't care, all that matters is that I have you with me willing to finally be my mate," He smiled at her as he buried his face at the crook of her neck, his fangs baring and grazing over her sensitive skin.

"I'm yours, Kouga— _all yours_." She rasped as she felt her walls tighten, desperate for any physical contact.

Kouga's beast growled in satisfaction but he knew to keep it low. A hand traces over her skin, until he finds her most intimate part—he cups her womanhood feeling the heat accumulate. His other hand remains over her breast, this thumb rubbing over her now erect nipple. His fangs sink into her soft skin, elongated canine teeth digging through her flesh—the taste of human blood sending his intoxicated mind different conditions— _devour, mark_ —the echoing growls that he so pressed to bury. The way it bruised and bled contrasted highly to her unblemished skin—the way the redness spread all over had made him howl into the gentle night. His tongue presses on her wound, licking it as an apology seeing her pained expression.

After which, his tongue does not leave the contact on her skin, trailing it to the breast that he did not tend to, his mouth suckling onto her eager breast.

Kagome choked on a sob, the tingling sensation on her neck, the feeling of her breasts being played by his hand and his mouth as well as the ghostly touches of his cupped hand over her wet core, had made her breathing ragged as her body grew limp, "Oh Kouga... please...," She gazed at him with longing, her hips bucking against his hand, letting her black curls rub against his calloused palm—her heart thundered against her chest, she was _in great need_ , the way her skin tingled and her nerves went awry.

"Hm?" A smirk drew across his lips as he switched from sucking the breast to gently biting and pulling with his teeth.

"Oh, oh...! Please, please finger me... something... something inside of me...!" Her cheeks flared embarrassed as she swallowed hard, her legs shivering—the tiniest touches he did to her caused her to unravel her desires.

His middle finger pressed against the slit of her warm folds, he rubbed his fingertip along the tiny nub of sensitive nerves—the way she writhed and twisted under him pleasured him, the way her moans, whimpers and gasps had his erection throbbing with impatient need. Careful of his sharp claws, he curled his finger, letting the second joint of his finger slide inside her throbbing core.

Kagome mewled at the myriad of sensations, her shoulders rose as her hold onto her lover pulled him closer.

The wolf demon grunted as he let his curled, calloused finger penetrated her slowly. "Still alright?" Kouga huskily asked as he licked the tears that began to well from the corners of her eyes.

She weakly nodded, "Please don't worry, I feel so good... please, please do me as you wish." Shakily, she looked up at him and pressed her soft lips against his.

His tail twitched, wagging from left to right in evident excitement as the tip of his manhood brushed against her inner thigh.

Kagome shivered under him—unbeknownst if it were from the cold gust of wind from outside of the foreign, warm sensation that Kouga was delivering to her.

Her wanton cries were not unheard and Kouga decided to another curled finger, as much as he desired to thrust his aching cock into her tight, hot cunt he knew he had to prepare her as much as he could. He let the two fingers prod and push her walls to the side, spreading her and with each probe, her legs stiffened.

Kouga retracts his fingers from inside of her, earning a displeased mewl from his mate which caused him to chuckle, "Patience," he kissed her cheek as he angled his cock onto her entrance, letting the tip of its head slide and trace of her slit.

He inches his face close to her, his brows furrowing, "Sorry...," he muttered before letting his cock slide inside of her womanhood.

Kagome arched her back, eyes widening in the aching feeling of her cunt being torn apart. She gritted her teeth and hissed, biting back the _want_ to scream as it left her lips in breathless sighs.

Soon as his manhood had been buried inside of her, he let his mate adjust to the sensation; he kisses the tears that streamed down her face, sending whispers of reassurance. Her tears tasted no longer only of love; they were overwhelmed with the pain. It had a tinge of bitterness, he closed his eyes, burying his face against the crook of her neck, inhaling her intoxicating, fear and passion filled scent—despite the imminent pain, she still had submitted to him.

The priestess took a few deep breaths, looking over at him with a blurred vision, the atmosphere felt thick, the stench of sex becoming more evident in her momentary heightened senses, "I'm all right, please," Kagome breathed, her sweated plastered on her hair and sticking one her skin, "Please don't stop—"

Kouga took a deep breath then nodded as he let himself pullback and bury his length repeatedly in a slow, tender manner—once that Kagome had begun to match his pace, rolling her hips against him, grinding her aching womb towards his shaft. One hand left holding her side then to her thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Kouga growled as he picked up his pace, simultaneously letting his beast take a feel of their mate's utter submission and virginal desires. "Fuck, _fuck—_ you're so tight _—Kami,_ you're swallowing my cock." Kouga smirked as beads of sweat from his forehead dropped on his mate. He continued to thrust; feeling their organs pulsate and synchronize with each other's pace.

Kagome's senses diminished to moans and whimpers, her walls tightening over his length and feeling her stomach twist in knots as her expression scrunches up in evident pleasure. The pain had begun to subside, feeling accustomed to the penetration of his cock as she only indulged in the seductive pleasure given to her.

"A—Ah...!" her eyes widened at the odd jerky feeling that bubbled in her womb. An odd sense to pick up the pace as if the fire had ignited and caused her to burst, her coil had erupted.

 _She's near, damn._ Kouga only hopes he could at least cum with her. Sensing that she was at her limit, he picks up the pace, burying his length deeper as he breathed heavily. His mate's gasps growing louder as she practically had her body shaking, _pleading and begging_ for a release.

"Oh Kouga... _Kouga—!_ " She chewed on her bottom lip, her toes curling as her legs tightened around her lover's waist. "I— _Ah_..." Regressed to incomprehensible noises her body gave in then relaxed at her own released.

The wolf demon came not soon after that, soon as his seed spilled he let a few seconds of cool down before removing his cock out of her cunt. He looked down, seeing the liquid spill from her slit. He looked back at her, seeing her body coated in both their bodily sweat, her tear strained evident and her drool by the corners of her reddened lips, patches of mauve all over her collarbones and shoulders as well as the intricate wound on her nape which was her marking. She had an afterglow to it; she was basically brimming with pleasure and contentment.

Her legs weakened as she let them untangle from her mate's waist, Kouga pulled her up and cradled her onto his lap, giving her kisses on her forehead. "That was so good, Kagome."

"I love you, Kouga...," she purred, losing whatever will have been left and drifted off quickly to sleep—a smile gracing her lips.

"I love you too," Kouga whispered back as he let his hands run through the locks of her hair, he ought to wash her as soon as possible tomorrow morning.

 **...**

He was a demon, very rarely do they let their emotions get the best of them—Kouga looked over at his mate who had fallen into deep slumber soon after their love making, a thin sheen of sweat covering her skin and glistening under the gentle light of the fire that cackled nearby. He used a free hand to brush the bangs off her face, her brows furrowed at the odd tingling sense of his claws lightly grazing her skin though her expression softened once his palm rested by her cheek. He inwardly chuckles, outwardly shows a grin, baring the tip of his fang in bemusement with the little reactions she did. But his little _fuzzy, warm_ feeling fleets soon after he feels her shudder at the slightest gust of wind from outside.

He had brought all the garments they've shed last night to cover her body however she still seemed to feel cold despite her evident sweat trickling down from her forehead. He did not need much clothing in the first place as he was able to emanate the heat he needed, additionally, he did not feel cold easily. His forehead creases as he looks intently at his shivering mate. He was not so sure how to relieve her off her misery.

Shoulders relaxing as he emits a shaky breath, eyes closing momentarily as he let his hands continue caressing Kagome's midnight tresses. He had to find a way— _soon—_ some way to heal her.

A part of him had desired to go on rampage on the poor little village, have his wolves devour everyone in sight while he held that priestess's head on one hand and that hanyou's head on the other hand—their children's hearts digesting in his belly—the carnal, macabre desire had made his heart skip a beat.

Yes, he was still a killer, it was in his blood—his history—to feed on humans, to relish their screams and pleas, that was what they have been for over hundreds and thousands of years. If he were given the chance to, he would gladly have those measly beings be his dinner. And if that priestess was dead it would mean that Kagome would have her soul whole once more.

At the very least, she would not die alone; the hanyou she loved so dearly would be with him.

Kouga inwardly clicks his tongue, she should have stayed dead—he did not know what _beef_ she had with that mutt and vice versa, all he knew was that the priestess had died. He did not care if his wishes were doused in ill intentions—he did not care who that woman was, even before, he had little to none speck of sympathy for those that are not allied to his tribe. It had only changed once Kagome came to his life, though she was not a part of the pack he eventually warmed up to her, enough to submit to her unconsciously (in such a way he refused to eat human meat for the sake of pleasing her and making her comfortable). He did not care of anyone else but her (and the people she cares about).

It was a pity that his mate adored that priestess. He wondered why, he was slightly sure that she would have envied that woman after all Kagome used to be so in love with that mutt while he chased after his lost love.

 _Because that's Kagome._ That was right; because she was Kagome she had shown love and kindness even to those who have wronged her. He took into consideration that he was emanating his malicious aura; he took in deep breaths—calming his angered heart. He could not help but feel aggravated. His brow furrowed, head throbbing faintly. For the past years, when Kagome had her eyes and heart solely for that mutt-face, he had done everything he could in order to chase her, the wait was slow—some nights he grew impatient and find himself walk (running) along the forest in search for her. It had frustrated him, why—why did she choose to chase over that mutt who could not claim her and yet grew possessive of her once she is being swooped away by another? It had irritated him that Inuyasha was complacent with Kagome's unwavering love. It frustrated him—that he, a full blooded demon, could not get what he wanted, could not receive the love he yearned for.

First was that he could not defeat the leader of the Birds of Paradise as he aimed to do so, especially since it was neither him nor any from his tribe who had defeated the demon but an outsider, it scorned his pride—though he buried it, there was no need to resurface such petty sentiments. Second was that he could not have Kagome look at him, blindly in love with _fate_. Third was that he could not avenge his fallen comrades due to Naraku's despicable ploy, he was not a part of the final battle and that was one of the regrets he will carry until his very last breath. And now—he cannot assure flourishing his love for his mate. How? Because of that woman—she was taking her soul, she was taking her away from him—while that hanyou was able to taste the happiness he so longed for, he is once again left in the dark chasing for remnants of hope.

Kouga inwardly cursed, his eyes fluttered open as he glances at the sleeping woman in his arms. He bit onto his bottom lip, _"Don't go,"_ He uttered, his hold on her subtly tightening as he let his nose bury in her midnight tresses. _Don't go._ Mortality was one thing to fear—but this was far too soon. He supposes he had been prepared for a short blissful life—he heard how humans can, at the very most, live around a hundred years if they are able to sustain good diet and exercise as well as a stress free life—but with everything that is happening, as well as their current predicament—his mate's life might as well be shortened to half of a hundred or more. The thought of living the rest of his life alone haunted him—having a mate was different from having a pack.

He would have accepted, maybe slightly distressed, if she had passed after a good hundred years (or a little less) but she was far from reaching her prime adulthood—she was only twenty years of age. They had only been together for over two years (not including their budding relationship before the final battle). For a demon, this time might as well be two weeks or less. Time went by much differently than humans.

 _Don't go, don't go, don't go._ It was a wishful thought, he was desperate. He wanted her, he wanted to be happy, and he wanted to be loved by her until as much as time would allow him so. But why was time so horribly selfish? Why is it that he cannot obtain what he desired?

The pent up frustration was too much for his mind to handle and so heaved a heavy breath, nostrils flaring as his eyes narrowed at the fire flickering right before his eyes. He glances at the mouth of the cave were the rain and snow continued to pour, this was not good—if they stay anymore longer in this cave Kagome's condition might worsen—he had to go back to the den soon, she would be far more safer there.

He looks back at her peaceful sleeping face, letting himself calm with the way her breathing was regulated. A gentle smile draws on his lips as he lets his shoulders relax, his back adjusting slightly at the wall behind him as his head rests at the stone wall beside him—thankful that he chose to sit by the corner. Not before long his eyes shut close as he falls into slumber.

 **...**

 _Would you still love me even when this soul I harbour is not mine? When it's slowly slipping off my grasp until I am nothing but an empty carcass?_

Yes, yes forever I will love all of you.

 _Would you accept the reality I am no longer fully who I am? I am only partially alive, my soul partially whole, I am slowly slipping away—would you—_

We'll find a way

 _And if there is none?_

I—

 **...**

Morning soon came, the storm had subsided and only the warmth of the rising run had emanated through the cave—the fire that was prepared last night had died as well.

Kagome was first to wake, an uncomfortable feeling between her legs—the sticky semen that had clung onto her skin had made her immediately remember of her activity last night. She flushed deeper shades of red as she slowly looked up at the sleeping expression of her mate. Her heart and mien melted at the soothing sight of being engulfed in his warmth, his arms tightly and securely around her.

She shifted very subtly, her legs sore and her lower back in excruciating pain—it was equivalent to her feeling cramps when she overworked herself studying in a bad position. She felt her chest tighten as if pins and needles were pricking her beating organ, her lungs felt as if it were being squeezed and twisted like a wet towel—she could barely breathe. Her head was throbbing in immense pain, from her temporal lobes to the middle of her brain. Her ears began to ring and it sounded of void, akin to the drop of pressure when riding a plane. Her nose clogged and she immediately knew of this feeling— _blood_. She brought her hands up, wiping the blood that seeped out from her nose, she felt tears well up in her eyes—her eyes also felt hot and it hurt to even look around.

This was not a new occurrence, for the past weeks her nosebleeds and other physical pains had been more prominent. One time her stool and urine had blood in it and every time she would stand she would black out—she knew that the _blacking out when standing suddenly_ was normal but not on a continuous basis. Additionally her odd sleeping patterns, even on the most uncalled moments she would fall asleep—when bathing she had almost drowned due to the fact she had fallen asleep.

Her heart burned and it beat slowly. She held back her tears and pulled her _miko garment_ close to her face wiping the blood off her nose and her tears as well. She took deep breaths; nonetheless she knew she still looked awful. She looked back at her relaxed and solemn mate, although as much as she had wanted to stay in this position, she ought to bathe as well as return back to the den seeing that the storm had calmed down.

Her fingers rose as she poked the sleeping wolf demon on his shoulder, "Kouga, wake up...,"

Not before long, the wolf demon groaned and his eyes opened, he blinked twice and saw his lovely mate's slightly sleepy expression. His heart was engulfed in a passionate warm feeling as he gave her a chaste kiss on her nose, "Good morning, love."

"And a good morning to you too!" She chirped as she shifted on his lap. "As much as I'd like to stay, could we please bathe?" She looked up at him with a gentle smile.

Kouga nodded as he helped her dress lightly then picked her up in his arms.

"I can walk." Kagome pouted.

Kouga rolled his eyes, "If I did you'd be wobbling," He said with a smirk which only made her flush.

"Fine...," she wrapped her hands around her lover as they exited the cave, leaving nothing but a scent and lingering memories.

Despite their warm, cheerful greeting, Kouga could vividly smell blood and tears from his mate. He inwardly cursed, it must have happened again. He take a good look at her, scrutinizing her features, the way that blood smeared on nose and the top of her lip as well as on her clothes, the way there was the presence of snot on her clothes. The salty scent of her tears was within his sense's range. It was not only salty; it had the same bitter scent like last night. Her teeth chattered and it had only made his stomach churn, she looked so helpless, pathetic and fragile. Never in his life would he have expected such a strong woman fall in such a cruel manner. It was torture, for her to suffer slowly.

He raised his arms slightly, nearing her face to him.

Kagome felt the slight changed and looked up, her eyes fluttering open.

Kouga gave her a toothy grin, the tip of his fang baring as he pressed a kiss on her lips, his tongue sliding over the smeared blood and licking it away.

He pulled back and looked at his mate's surprised expression, her hand instinctively on her lips.

"What was that for?" She said with a coquettish grin and a chuckle.

Kouga shrugged, "I just felt like it, I couldn't keep my lips to myself." He quipped as he watched his mate sink back to his arms, her eyes closing once more as she snuggled close to his warmth.

They were both aware that Kouga knew of the origins of the blood on her lips but they were also aware that the wolf demon did not want to press the issue further as it would spoil her mood—he had the same experiences before. He glanced at the woman who had her eyes shut close from the brimming sunrise—the way it glowed over her pale skin, he saw how her lips had turned dry as well. She seemed as if she was turning into a ghost. He inwardly growled, _fear_ was swallowing his heart whole.

 **...**

 _I'm sorry._

Please don't go.

 _Kouga, I can no longer feel myself._

We'll find a way.

 _Kouga, I feel cold._

I'll hold you.

 _I feel very cold and numb..._

Hang onto me, alright? In a second we'll be back home so stay awake for now okay? You can go rest when we're home... please...

 _But I'm so tired... I'm so very tired..._

Kagome...

 _Just for five minutes?_

Alright, five minutes. Promise me you open your eyes after five minutes?

 _Mhm... Thank you..._

 **...**

" _Oi, Kouga_ —we were worried as shit! You okay?!" Ginta and Hakkaku ran up to their Alpha, leaving their posts. Though it was not common that Kouga as well as his intended would leave, it worried them due to last night's snow storm

Kouga remained silent as he held his mate in his arms; he only gave them a solemn gaze.

"Yeah,"

The two other demon wolves looked at their pack sister only to realize what had happened.

She was as pale and sickly, her pink plump lips were pale and it seemed dry—as if cracked. Beads of sweat were evident and her arms lay limp over her chest.

But she did not breathe.

 **...**

 _Fin._

* * *

A/N: I am very sorry for the awful organization of ideas as well as typos, I really wanted to post this on Christmas ^^;;;;; I just wanted to write a quick idea down. Please let me know your thoughts :)


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